Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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