'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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