he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
