so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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