I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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