now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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