i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
