I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
