Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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