No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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