careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He felt like a one man threesome
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
