A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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