i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize