How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
