so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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