I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
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She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
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I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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