But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
