dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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