That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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