Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
