Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
