oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
