I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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