Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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