i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
