Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
