I want to make a zoo with you.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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