I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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