Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My dick has a subreddit
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
