I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
