at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
