Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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