dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
