Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
