escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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