I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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