there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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