I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
