i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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