i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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