i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize