it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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