this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
