if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
