She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
