I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
