i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
