Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
