The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
