Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
