I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
