Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Holy shit dude........stairs
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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