I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize