please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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