Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He passed out mid-signature
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
