just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize